I Never Introduced Myself
Ok damn, dropped the ball on that one. If you’ve purchased any of the courses, you’ll have a fair idea of who I am, but I’ll share more for ya.
My name is Peter, I’m from Australia and have been here since 1996. We lived here up to 1993 but then the family lived in Europe for three years. I’ve always been a storyteller according to loved ones, mostly my stories were full of shit, but they were entertaining. My stories were just to get people to laugh so they wouldn’t see my real self. These days, you get my real self warts and fuckin’ all. Now, I’m not an asshole about it but I ain’t gonna adapt to a room to preserve someone’s feelings, but my tact is an overpowered ability.
We grew up fairly poor, we had a roof and food and even though our clothes were old, at least we had them. As a pre-teen and beyond I was so ashamed of this as all my friends had the brands, the everyday necessities, and money for lunch (materiality is the wrong focus!). I understood early that I could not rely on my parents for anything material.
They were sad years and I have long since forgiven my parents for their addictions that eventually cost us our home. As much as I was hurting, I asked myself years later if they were hurting, because of their negative decisions and their addictions to gambling and tobacco, which ruled their lives. This is an essential part of the healing process - you must see things from all perspectives otherwise you only have your own biased point of view. This isn’t to excuse my actions or theirs, but it’s about knowing the circumstances and reasons for why they lived the way they did.
This took me years to realise. Eventually hate and resentment became sadness and forgiveness for them. I wish I could tell my mother that I am sorry for what happened to her in her life, but even though she is gone, I think she knows.
To know me well means you know I am a friendly guy, and it wasn’t until I was 13 when I lived in Europe that I had real friends for the first time. Growing up in country Australia as an ethnic boy made my life quite hellish, so when we relocated to my dad’s home country I felt like I was home. We lived there for three years, I had many great friends (many of whom I still talk with) who liked me for me, regardless of my faults.
Upon returning to Australia I moved out of home, surrounded myself with negative people and suffered the consequences for doing so. I was never in legal trouble and I don’t have illegitimate children or a history of narcotics or alcohol abuse. I had an active imagination, and I was super lazy, I didn’t need external rubbish, my mind was destructive enough. As you read in the first entry I was being trained then continued to train myself to be a f*ck up.
I had a lot of hate towards a lot of people, and it did absolutely nothing for me, so what did I do about it? I will tell you in the next post, be as open to hearing it as I am in writing it.
This was a couple of decades ago and so much has changed since that time, I won’t go into about it here but I will in the following two posts.
Have a rockin day.